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Driver in Shock after Hit & Run Horror

rear view mirror

A driver in South Dublin was still in shock today following a narrow escape with a speeding bicycle.

While returning from work yesterday evening, Mr. David Gilroy was involved in a collision with an unmarked bicycle, which caused severe upset and further lateness to an already delayed schedule.

Witnesses to the event reported a bicycle with flashing lights suddenly moving onto the road from a junction before continuing in a straight line close to the curb for a few hundred metres at high speeds of up to 30kph. As it carried on past an entrance to a popular local shopping centre, it ploughed straight into the side of Mr Gilroy’s silver 1,740 Kg BMW.

Mr Gilroy, who was turning left into the shopping centre to pick up some Merlot wine and cheese crackers, while reading iPhone 6 Plus reviews on his iPhone 6 Plus, was dismayed by the incident. “I’m still in shock, really” he reported. “There’s a scratch running all the way along the passenger door and a head-sized dent too. The whole panel will have to be replaced, and I have a wedding to go to on Friday.”

Meanwhile, the cyclist involved had already fled the scene in an emergency ambulance that happened to be passing.

“He didn’t even look me in the eye,” expressed Mr. Gilroy. “One minute he slams straight into me, then he leaves without even a word.”

Regular passer-by, Jamie Keys, described the scene as shocking. “Those cyclists think they own the road. That car was just driving along, minding its own business, when bang! It could have been any one of us. How can anything that dangerous be allowed on these busy roads?” Mr Keys illustrated the lethal nature of bicycles by holding up a piece of sharp-toothed steel from the scattered bits that remained on the roadside.

Another distressed driver, Mrs. Fidelma Greaney, agreed. “They have no right to bully us drivers; every day I have to swerve out to narrowly avoid them, and now most of them are decked out in horrible lights and gaudy yellow jackets. How can I get anywhere at all if I have to keep looking up to notice them and braking to stop them from ramming my bonnet? Do they not realize there is a real person inside the car? Somebody’s son, or daughter, or friend, or some poor worker just trying to get to the office on time?”

The cyclist involved declined to comment, though he is expected to possibly be out of intensive care by Monday week, possibly.

(filed under satire)

Bike Crash

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